So, people of the internet, my Winter Break is over. School starts today. Ew. You all are probably wondering how on Earth I have such a short break (especially because most of you don’t have school until the 13th or 14th. Well, my school schedule is a bit different this year because instead of having an extremely long Winter Break, I have two weeks off in spring. I can’t decide if I’m excited or just blah. Anyways, as per usual, I’ve been on Tumblr & Twitter reading all your questions (most I read were written anonymously on Tumblr-it made me sad because most of ’em were really sweet), so since I didn’t do an “Ask Miranda” segment last week, I decided to make up for the ones I missed last week. However, a few things have happened over these past few days that had me leaning towards answering one question in particular that really summed up everything I’ve been perplexed about.
// Me \\
The question is: I’m sure many people ask you this, but how do you stay so sure of yourself? I would imagine people in wheelchairs have more insecurities than others without them (Sorry if that’s rude, I didn’t mean for it to be). Do you ever get lonely and feel like you need someone? Sometimes I do. I recently went through a really hurtful experience and wanted your advice about how you deal with being single. I think your Tumblr is awesome, by the way. :)- A very nice anonymous Tumblr user
Before anyone gets their undies in a wad, I did not get offended by that question and never will. Some people really don’t know, and that’s okay. If they assume, well… okay. I have no problem explaining (and/or correcting) people when they assume something.
Now, to answer your question, dear anon, I honestly stopped caring so long ago. You’re wrong, however, that a person in a wheelchair has insecurities worse than those that aren’t in wheelchairs. We have a lot of the same insecurities as everyone else in the world, but sometimes the chair is the reason for those insecurities. Speaking for myself, in middle school and high school, I was very insecure about my chair and really let it define who I was and how people saw me, whereas now, the only thing I’ve ever felt insecure about is probably my teeth/smile, but even then, it’s not an insecurity that impedes my ability to socialize or live life. The chair has never really hindered any pursuits I’ve had because I’m just so used to it.
Going back to the first part of your question: Like I said before, I have insecurities just like you, but the reason why I am more comfortable being myself is because I honestly stopped caring about anybody else’s opinion of me and I stopped comparing myself to others. For example, I used to compare myself to my cousin, P, a LOT. She’s much more fashionable than I am… and I don’t mean fashionable as in my clothes are ugly, I mean fashionable as in stylish. See, my cousin wants to dress up. As a matter of fact, she loves dressing up. And she does it so effortlessly. Meanwhile, your girl Miranda over here? I think about getting all dressed up and beautified for school the night before and set my alarm and so on, and then the alarm comes on and I think… “Um, no.” I prefer to do it sporadically because I tend to shock everyone (including family) when I come out with a face full of makeup and an outfit that I actually put significant thought into. The point is, I always wished I could be just like her, but now I understand that everybody is different, everybody has different struggles, different triumphs, different everything. I dress the way I want, act the way I want, and do what I want. And I do so proudly and with confidence. You may not be the prettiest, smartest, or most fashionable, but you are special and you have something to offer the world that no one else has. You just have to find it. ♥
If you’re asking if I ever feel lonely in terms of having a boyfriend, no. It’s funny you ask this because I recently found out my aunts were going to make me a profile on Match.com because, well… apparently they felt bad for my non-existent love life. As much as I appreciate that my family is trying to figure me out when it comes to being a “non-dater”, I like being alone. I guess it’s because for the longest time, I hated being alone, so much so that I would sit and eat lunch with random people at school so I didn’t feel like “Loser of the Month”. Now that I’m almost 20, I LOVE BEING ALONE and I am completely comfortable being that way. I love having an empty house to myself or studying by myself in the library. To me, it’s a real testament to how far I’ve come and how sure I am of myself that I don’t need somebody to sit with me all the time to feel like I am a part of something.
I agree with you. Sometimes I think about wanting someone, then I think of this song, and I remember, nope:
I hope I answered your question(s) anonymous Tumblr user and I hope this song might lift your spirits when thinking about whatever happened between you and that person.
It’s the first day of the semester, so wish me luck, beauties and remember: Be fearless, be confident, and be beautiful!