This One’s for the Girls

// I’d rather have flowers in my hair than diamonds around my neck \\

It took me a very long time to feel confident in myself and it wasn’t until about a year ago, that I felt happy with myself, but even now, I have a hard time accepting certain truths about myself. I feel like a lot of women have their own insecurities (and I am definitely one of those women) and when I speak at schools (especially to those girls 14-18), women often ask me how I manage to find a glimmer of confidence even on my worst days. So, I figured I’d share it with all of you:

  • No matter what I’m wearing or what I’m feeling, putting on red lipstick helps me feel really confident and feminine.
  • READ. Anything. It may not seem like a “cool thing” to do but honestly, I feel so smart when someone mentions something I’ve read about and I’m able to elaborate on the subject and surprise them with what I know. 

  • Being in a wheelchair has entitled me to a newfound independence and willingness to be alone. Even though it is great to have a significant other and someone to call “yours”, I feel it imperative to say that, although I was desperate for love (especially in high school), I’ve learned that truly loving yourself is the only way you can love someone else. Try to remind yourself that just because you’re single, that doesn’t mean you’re “forever alone”… It just means your love story is still being written. Be patient. 
  • Always remember who you are. When/ If you have to remind yourself, try writing it on a post-it and sticking it on your bedroom wall or bathroom mirror. Even if it’s one nice trait, repeat it to yourself because you’d be surprised how much it’ll brighten your day. 

  • Lastly, don’t beat yourself up. Meaning: Just because you might do something wrong every now and then or your hair looks bad or your outfit isn’t perfectly put together, doesn’t mean you aren’t beautiful. If ever you feel  like nothing’s going right, take yourself out for ice cream or a Starbucks frappuccino. Buy yourself that sweater you’ve always wanted or go to the beach and just sit there. Go on a bike ride or buy yourself a pizza (junk food always helps). Be your own movie or dinner date. Remember you aren’t a failure, you aren’t ugly, or stupid. Be your own hero. As soon as you decide that you are the hero of the story, the confidence will come.

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