This morning was interesting. A lot of yelling, angry stares, and of course, crying. My mom moves to Virginia in less than thirty days and I graduate and move to Simi the day after.
A lot of change. A LOT to get used to. And, A LOT of stress. Well, not a lot of getting used to for me. I move back to the place I had been living for fourteen years prior to moving here. My mom, on the other hand, is moving 3,000 miles away with no family, no social life, and no job. We’ve both been on edge lately. Every conversation we have ends in statistics and numbers about moving, what we’re going to pack, and most importantly to my mom: how I am going to do anything without her. In turn, this stresses me out to no end and I get angry that she even bothers to bring it up, especially since it worries me that my mom will be by herself for two months at a time.
It ends up being a screaming match, me crying and my mother just sitting there with a stubborn look on her face, not budging for anything. I realized this morning that I haven’t had a chance to really face the music. I keep blowing this whole “moving” business off because I don’t want to face the fact that my best friend, whose always been there for me, is moving 3,000 miles away. No more late night trips to Denny’s, movie dates, and Saturday night McFlurry’s. On the other hand, I have to admit that I am excited to assert some independence and show my mom what a wonderful daughter she raised. I hope that when she comes back to the “Sunshine State”, I can show her that what she taught me didn’t just go to waste.
Meanwhile, this morning, the strong wall that I had built to ward off any real emotion came crashing down. I lost it and tears kept flowing and flowing even on the way to school in the car. I thought of the fact that in less than two months, I wouldn’t be a high school student and my mom wouldn’t be able to be there to give me “welcome home-how-was-your-day” hug. However, the minute my mom pulled into the back parking lot, I put on a Poker Face that even Lady Gaga would be proud of.
The lesson I learned today is that change is a part of life, sometimes you gotta roll with the punches. Granted, Caroline Manzo from The Real Housewives of NJ said that BUT, I never really understood it until today. I feel like the fun part of life is that we don’t know where we’ll end up or who will be there along the way, but it’s okay because that’s how we learn and become who we are. I know my mom isn’t going to be right next to me, attached at the hip forever, so I have to keep on, keepin’ on and see what I’m capable of and what I can accomplish on my own.
So, I came home. I looked at my mom and gave her the biggest hug. “Thank you for everything. I’ll be fine, you’ll be fine, everything will be fine. I love you very much.”