So, the first part of my post title says “finding things out the hard way” and boy, does it suck. I found out recently that no matter how nice you are to someone, no matter how much kindness you “kill” them with, sometimes that person just isn’t worth knowing after all. I have a tendency to try too hard with certain people and no matter how many times I get shit on and ignored, I’ll still keep trying to befriend that person. Honestly, I’ve gained a reputation of DGAF’ing (which I do at certain times) but other times I well… GAF. I have no idea why I do but I do. For example, I was supposed to gift something to someone. Then I realized something… Yes, I am just being nice to them but at the same time, they seldom talk to me. They’re the type of person that isn’t a friend but an acquaintance. For a long time I waited for that person to kind of… give me approval? I don’t know. Anyway, It wasn’t until today that I learned: Don’t keep doing things for people if they aren’t going to really appreciate you and more importantly, the fact you thought of them in the first place.
Here’s a quote to think about: You don’t need anyone who doesn’t need you. Focus on those who appreciate you and get rid of those who don’t.
Now, if you sat here reading this and thought, ‘I’m totally being too nice’, don’t feel bad. We all do it. It’s part of being human. We put so much trust and effort into people, that we say, ‘oh, they’ll return the favor.’ When they don’t, we’re left feeling sorta… stupid. We ask ourselves why we don’t see it and then we sometimes ask why we keep going back to that person. Whenever you’re wondering what to do or where turn, repeat that quote to yourself and then listen to your heart because our heart takes us on a journey far beyond anything we can imagine.
To top this realization off, I also had some difficult decisions to make. To go to prom or not go to prom, to go to senior lunch or not? I’m already not going to Grad Night because my mama’s moving to Virginia pretty much right after graduation. I know what you’re thinking: it’s my senior year. Why am I being so anti-social? Well, it’s my book. I’ve been telling all of you that it’s going to be published, which it definitely is, but talk is cheap. If I’m going to do it,I better get on it. So, I’m going to use as much time as I possibly can to put finishing touches and get ready to add graduation into the mix. Obviously, I made the decision to forego prom, senior lunch, and baccalaureate. And I’m okay with it. No I’m not too good for any one of my fellow graduates, but I also believe in my heart that I’m making the right decision. My cousin Paulina has said numerous times, “If you don’t go to prom, you will regret it”, my Grandma has said, “You’re not going to attend anything, it’s your senior year, and okay, that’s an understandable argument to take but I also live by the saying:
Never regret anything you’ve done or will do because at the time, it is exactly what you wanted. And right now, this is what I want. Thanks for listening/reading! I’m going to get back to writing, drinking my hot chocolate, and dreaming the biggest dreams possible…